The Wading Stem

I can’t blame you anymore. I am not here to be all that I was, when I was not what I thought. I take pride in what I know the least, because when it’s all said and done, I’m standing on your feet but I still take harbor off the coast of reality. The distant shores wade so far before me but that is where I once stood, when I could stand, when I knew all that I was, when you thought I was a man. I
still hope for those days. in the far off distant ways, I can see them return. Over the crashing waves, I still see the glimmer of hope; the hope that brought me this far, walking this high rope. I’m still walking without a net – but there’s no pain when there’s nothing in your head.

You say you will catch me when I fall, but I fell for you a long time ago; a time that’s nothing more than a figment of my mind, just like the hopes and dreams and wonders I have seen. I still see it all. I can feel it all, yet I wonder why I didn’t call – the call of everlasting life, placed one month too late. You should be here by my side for the dreams I can create.

I felt it all before you knew what it was to feel. I made you feel. I made you real. I did it all; my fate’s concealed. In the fate of tragedy, I stand before the gods that determine it all as I did long before; rendering my life to be nothing more than what I bore. I knew the way of life. I could walk, and talk, and please, and cease. I could persuade with the best and the worst of them because I was all, but I still could not live. I take pleasure in the pain, ’cause I did it all in vain. You are nothing more than mine to contain. I hold you back from witnessing truth. the truth of life will in turn, turn you loose, because to think is pain and hurting is the truth.

What’s pretty is so wrong. The most immoral sin. I lived it all and felt it all and bared it with a grin. I think, I feel, I hurt, I’m real. Rapid movement of the eye is a figment of the brain and so are you. You dream. my eyes stay straight. Focusing on living has driven gods away.